Black Pumps to Rotting Stumps posts

My first date with Marlboro Man had been a smashing success.

And by smashing, I mean that in order to distract him for the lust magnet hitherto known as Tia the Tartlett, I had  hurled my pale, red-headed Bartlesville ballerina body into the wooden plank flooring of the Verandah Inn whereupon my skirt did fly up.  And since I had left my rust colored Sassoon panties in a coffin at the local mortuary, I revealed to my silver stallion, more than he paid for. Fortunately for the both of us, this little flash of flesh worked to my advantage and broke the chain of love that had enslaved my beloved MM for years. Read more…

Our first date had been going so well!  In the space of one short evening, I had shared my entire soul with this man and he had swallowed it whole with little to no reflux!  Read more…

Trying to decide what to wear for my first date with Marlboro Man was the most excruciating decision I have ever faced in my life!  I pummelled the contents of my closet trying on every skirt, dress, jacket and tutu I owned.  As the day dragged on, the mountain of clothing on my bedroom floor grew larger and larger and I began to get a little panicked.  I didn’t have a thing to wear!  And there was simply no time to drive to Tulsa and find an outfit at one of my favorite boutiques and of course nothing in Bartlesville was good enough for the daughter of a surgeon who had grown up on a golf course and gone to USC!  So that left only one option.  I had to find something to wear that I already owned.  Ugh!  Pre-owned clothing!   But what choice did I have?   Marlboro Man was picking me up in only twelve hours and that left barely enough time for a massage and a pedicure!  I was just going to have to draw on all my inner strength and wear something gently used for my first date with Marlboro Man. Read more…

It had been another long night of partying with my highschool homeys from Bartlesville High. Read more…

It was a dark and stormy night… Read more…