Smilin’ Aunt Carol Sue’s Milky Way Cake!
But when that happens, the best thing to do is to pretend like you have a smilin’ Aunt Carol Sue who gave you a recipe binder on your wedding day and it is so shiny clean and without a single juicy splotch on it that it looks like you ran out to the Pawhuska Dollar Store yesterday and bought it just to photograph for this blog post!
Excuse me for a minute while I suffer a teensy weensy heart attack…
Ouch, OW OWWWY! OW OW!!!!!
Gaw! The pain! The physical, psychic, PAIN!
It’s so incredibly intense!
I had NO IDEA that giving other people credit for what they do could be so PAINFUL!
But I HAVE to do it!
I don’t have a choice!
Even if it kills me!
Because this bitch here.
And this other bitch here.
Are refusing to let me play pretend shitty recipe maker-upper any more!
The point is that LOOKY INTERNET!
I am giving someone else the cred.!
Now, let’s make this shitty cake together!
All I can say is…
When one door closes another door opens.
Except let’s not call it a ‘door’…
Let’s call it a ‘oleo’.
(Hilarious spastic vocabulary fixation brain stutter to follow…)
Oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo
OLEO OH OH OH OH
Oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo,
OLEO, oleo, OLEO, oleo, oleo, OLEO!
Oleo, oleo, oleo, OLEO, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo,
OLEO, oleo, oleo, oleo,
OLEO, OLEO, OLEO, OLEO!
You want to grind up a donkey cart full of Milky Way Candy Bars!
Does anyone else experience wet nipple syndrome at the mere mention of the words Milky Way?
Oh my gosh!
So lactating right now!
Add margarine – I MEAN OLEO – by the fist fulls.
I said oleo!
Oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo, oleo,
OLEO, OLEO, OLEO, OLEO, OLEO, OLEO, OLEO!
OLEO OLEO OLEO OLEO OLEO OLEO OLEO
OHHHHHH LEEEEEEEE OHHHHHHHH
In Oklahoma we eat our Oleo straight out of the bowl!
Did I just say OLEO AGAIN!
OLEO, OLEO, OLEO, OLEO, OLEO, OLEO, OLEO,
Is this still funny for you guys?
OLEO, OLEO, OLEO, OLEO,
Nom, nom, nom, nom, NOM!
Oh holy shit this is delicious!
But there is one thing missing…
A little whipped cream!
PLAIN WHIPPED CREAM PEOPLE!
FOR GAWD’S SAKE!
THERE’S NO NEED TO MAKE THIS CAKE A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY!
Serve it piping hot to the first cowboy that wanders into the kitchen!
Unless that particular cowboy is so broken up about the recent departure of a certain illegal Native, that he can only hug you and promise to be a better husband and father at least to the two of your two kids with his exact same head and…
Oh what the hell!
To all the kids!!!!
A pool of cream will dissolve at your feet, curdled by the tears of your beloved, but that’s okay…
You can always re-apply it after he leaves…
There are plenty more hungry cowboys to feed in these here parts.
Intent on a sample of your Milky Way!
So try my Aunt Carol Sue’s Milky Way Cake Today!
It’s Man Pleasin’
I just can’t guarantee it will be your own man!