Still
My daughters are still growing and I can’t get them to stop. My eldest daughter is headed towards six feet tall and my younger one is just about to pass me up.
I still can’t stop writing about how fast my kids are growing up.
I still need to tell you that I am never going to let them go!
Never!
Ever!
I am still not ever going to let them go to college!
Because that is still the funniest, most eloquent and moving thought I have ever had in my entire life!
I also still can’t fit into their jeans.
Which is just so unfair!
Why can’t I fit into their jeans!
Why?
WHY!
I still love cheese!
And yes!
CHOCOLATE!
And tomorrow my daughter is still having a surgery!
Waaaaaaaah!
Hold me!
Please!
HOLD ME!
My younger daughter is STILL such a HAM in photos!
OMG!
Look at her! She never stops!
I tell you people!
We are like a non-stop episode of I Love Lucy around here!
Rhonda?
RHONDA???
Are you still helping me Rhonda?!?!?
No, but seriously guys!
Have you ever seen a pack of funnier kids in your life!
They literally take my breath away!
BECAUSE I AM LAUGHING SO HARD!!!!
Still laughing!
STILL LAUGHING!
Somebody call Ben STILLER!!!!
Because I am STILL LAUGHING!!!!
I still regularly rendezvous with Pesky in the Basil Patch!
Mmmmmm!
Here we are grinding up a batch of Pesky Pesto!
I am the mortar to his pestle.
Or wait…
Maybe he is the mortar and I am the pestle?
Which one is the poundy part?
Because Pesky does all the pounding.
And I am the big white marbley skinned bowl that he does all his pounding inside of…
Pound
Pound
Pound
And I just sort of lay there and moan a little and wish he would say something about how good I smell like he used to.
Still can’t get on a horse to save my life!
Still Dammit!!!!
Still love that hospital spray nozzle more n’ my luggage!
Mama shore do still need her some quality nozzle time!
Still love to look at myself in the mirror!
And ooooh boy!!!
Do I ever still love to look at this man when he is astride a frisky filly!
Especially when I am the frisky filly!
Which I STILL am!
Tee hee!
Still love a good garlic rub!
Up.
Higher!
Higher!
To the left!
No you estupido illegal!
MY LEFT!
Donde noches mi puttanesca al la peanut butter sandwiches!
I still love messin’ with Paco our illegal!
Muy hilarito Paco!
Mucho Muy Funny Times with Mama Ree Ree on the Ranchito!
Arriba! Arriba!
Still love our loyal ranch cowboys SO MUCH!
You complete me guys!
Where would I be without you?
Only living in a beach house with James in California!
What the hell was I thinking?!?!
Just kidding guys!
Love you!
And yes…
The sight of my husband still slays me.
And I still say “slays me” even though the eighties are over forever.
But I still keep them alive!
Because my brain is still covered in permafrost and hasn’t had an original thought since 1989!
Still love you more n’ my luggage!
Still here!
Still trying to think of a good way to end this post!
Still blogging even though all I ever do is say things I already said a million times before.
Still taking bad photos and telling my readers that they are great!
Still using superlatives to describe all my recipes because that’s what makes people click on them!
Still raking in the dough on this silly ole web site!
Still putting blue butterflies on my cat when she’s taking a crap and also on my dog’s balls!
Check back in a few minutes guys and I still won’t have a new post up, but I will still be telling you that I will!
I am still the funniest blogger ever!
Still am!
So. True.
and
Muy. Hilarito.
and I STILL love you Pie Near, you complete me……
….and I’m STILL waiting for that camera, Le Cruset, Kitchenaide, knife giveaway.
(Super hilarious post!)
Pie Near… remember to keep those girls ignorant. Perhaps barefoot and pregnant would enhance your goal of keeping them dependent on you forever and ever.
I was clicking through my Google reader when I saw there was a new post. I honestly read Pie Near as Pioneer. So imagine my surprise and the thoughts that leapt into my head. Bear in mind it took a moment for the picture to appear, and I saw the title “still” I thought “ya, still carrying on with the same redundant tripe. Nothing new here.” But then the picture appeared and I thought “OMG PW has flipped her lid and she is suddenly using the same dolls Pie Near does to liven up her blog”. Took a good 2 seconds for all that to flash through my head.
Nice to have you back.
Oh Pie Near, how I’ve missed you.
I love your garlic rub ensemble
You’re back!!! How I’ve missed you.
OMG, I thought you had died or something!!
Good to see you back.
Pie Neer! Where have you been? Do you think that we, your loyal followers, spend our days obsessively clicking on your website every moment to see if you have updated with OLD news about your growing children, husband, and banal life?
YOU ARE RIGHT! YOU ARE STILL RIGHT! AND WE ARE STILL HERE! ENTERTAIN US! ENTERTAIN US!! ENTERTAIN US!!
i love you!
your devoted reader and sycophant.
STILL HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!
Absolutely made my day! Good to see your post, Pie Near!
Happy, happy day. Pie is back
Judging from her most recent post, she’s *still* a crappy mom, too. Seriously? You don’t get to leave your minor child in surgery and go bee-bop around town looking for coffee.
But on the other hand, she attributed a recipe she used to the source today. Hint taken?
I just pray it doesn’t mean that she’s cut a deal with Allrecipes.
I am STILL living in the zombie apocalypse. My own mother made her G*ddammed turkey for Thanksgiving. WTF. I promptly scowled through dinner, ate a whole pie and drank an entire bottle of wine. I’m STILL pissed.
Stilll…laughing my *real* cowgirl ass off @ this post! You are a genius, I tell ya! Ha!! Love the part about her not being able to get on a horse. Truly, I don’t think I’ve EVER seen a more incompetent cowgirl wannabe than this woman in my LIFE!
Saints be praised! You’re back!!!
“Which one is the poundy part” *sigh* We missed you Pie Near!
If she has cut a deal with allrecipes, I will die!
Still
waters
run
deep
and so does our love for you dear Pie Near.
Still.
best,
MOV
happy to see you pnw!!!
A “heroic” sized MM standing over a horse too small for an adult says it all about male Drummond dominance of the animal kingdom, neigh, all they survey. Such range (I ain’t talking about your tall grass prairie setting which is perfect) you have Pie- from subtle barbie theater to out and out burlesque pounding in the basil patch.
P-dumb is trying to figure out right now how to market that pesto food porn for herself!
I curtsy with my stuff red petticoat peeking out under my skirt to your genius! Please don’t make us wait this long again.
LOL You STILL have it Pie! Nice to see your post.
LOL @ still regularly rendezvous with Pesky in the Basil Patch hahahahaha
& Still can’t get on a horse to save my life! lollolllolloollllllllllllllllllllllllll
Omg!!! Pienear!!!!! I’ve MISSED you! Really really missed you! I’ve just got caught up on all of your comedic brilliance and am falling apart at the seams from laughing so hard. You humor stands on its own-even without the creepy dumbness of PW. Love you all oienear woman buddies. Wishing you all happy holidays
keep laughing and keep making us laugh!
Where are you?? I need someone to comment on the cheeseburger salad?