Caption Weiners Announced!
I know you have been waiting and waiting and WAITING for me to announce the weiner of my latest contest! Unfortunately, I have been working my fingers to the BONE making corndogs and fried cheese sticks and the Indian fry bread and the frito chili pies and turkey drum sticks and all the other wholesome down home fair foods that people should be encouraged and instructed to make in their own homes! Because why fill up your arteries with pig parts and grease only once a year??? I say do it once a WEEK! YUMMY!
And speaking of FRIED WEINERS!
Congrats to Hellen Wheels for winning the caption contest!
Yay Hellen! Send me your mailing address to pienearwoman@live.com and I will send you a very special laminated copy of your quote with MM’s photo!
My goodness it was hard to decide which caption to choose! There were so many options between crude, cruder, super crude or crudite all of which made my hiney tingle super hard, but what about the innocent ears of my much beloved right wing conservative readers? Huh? What about them? Am I just to ignore that they exist? Am I just to pretend that they don’t throng my blog and feed on the nectar of my honey pot? I can’t ignore them and their delicate sensibilities! For they are the backbone of my steroid fueled turkey carcass! They are the pig parts at the very heart of my corn dog. They are the fry bread that supports mama’s Indian taco. Where would I be without them?
And so Charlie and Walter had to be sacrificed!
It was only fair!
And speaking of fair!!!!
Tune in next week when I will tell you how to make fair food right in your own homes!
I know!
I just give and give and give and give!
Over and Out,
Pie Near





First? could it be?!?
Congrats to Hellen!
best,
MOV
Kudos to Helen!
Well done, Hellen!
Congrats to Helen.
OMG OMG OMG — I AM A WEINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I AM WEINIE McWEINERSON!!! YAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!
Oh thank you, thank you ALL (sobbing with booze and emotion) – YOU always believed in me! YOU were always there for me! And YOU LIKE ME YOU REALLY LIKE ME!!! Oh, how I……. (sound of crashing, thumping, distant curse words…..)
Ahem. I just dropped my wine cooler on my keyboard so if Rfoart soundnhg a lirrle straeg im dot rawwwly druk er anothonh itz jwst thps damn kwtborddddddddddd.
AW LORVEEE YERWWWWW ALLLLLLLL!!
Priceless!
LOL!
I tried to think of a caption; I really did. I was foiled by the pulsing chant of “He looks like Doris Day” in my head. Uh, is that an earring he’s wearing?
Good girl Hellen, ya weiner!
I must have missed something here, I don’t remember any contest for captions! Hmmmmmm, I must be slacking in the reading department. Now I’m just plain jealous Hmmmmph But I think I will get over it mighty quick like and have another glass of wine, urm in Hellen’s honor of course. Congrats Hellen, wow such a nice and expensive prize too!
Dear Pie Neer,
Seriously? I mean, for realz? ONE weiner? Only ONE? What about the two randomly selected winners out of all the entries? What about, just because you luv us, two other winners because, as is best illustrated when you detail your quandry between MM, Pesky and Paco, YOU JUST CAN’T CHOOSE ONE? I just know you’re got a $100 amazon gift card or iPad tucked away in your hoo haw just waiting to be given to your minions. Where is my gift card? Where is my mixer? Where are MY KNIVES???
Hi Beloved Pie Near,
Apparently, it is perfectly acceptable to post an old photo (possibly of the dog) that you already used a while ago (or even a photo you ran multiple times, let’s be honest) and then write some inane drivel/ run-on sentence and that constitutes an appealing “blog post.” You know, the kind of thing that generates 118 profound and insightful comments.
case in point:
http://thepioneerwoman.com/blog/2011/10/the-queen-of-the-run-on-sentence/
I ask you, is Pioneer Whore just parodying herself at this point? is she trying to put YOU out of a job?!
best,
MOV
Rock on, Hellen! I bow to your fabulosity!